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05/22/2003 Archived Entry: "Speaking hypothetically..."
Speaking hypothetically...
I'm here in the office, it's after 1:00 AM, and all is quiet after a raucous rehearsal of my new band earlier tonight (except that ringing in my right ear...), and I'm just quietly thinking about a hypothetical situation here.
Let's say a hypothetical web site decided to write an article outlining how a hypothetical AM radio hate jock got his start in the business from a hypothetical station owner who also happened to be the leader of some hypothetical kooky religious cult. Let's go a step further and say that while the hypothetical hate jock severed his ties with the hypothetical kooky cult leader when he sold his hypothetical radio stations, much of the hypothetical kooky cult leader's philosophy remains part and parcel of the hypothetical hate jock's radio schtick.
Let's say that the hypothetical hate jock was looking for a way to boost his hypothetical ratings, which despite an ever-escalating level of hypothetical extremist, hateful rhetoric, remain so low that his hypothetical show isn't rating highly enough to even register on the ratings in many of his hypothetical markets.
Then he gets an idea - so he calls up his hypothetical law firm and has them file a frivolous lawsuit against the hypothetical web site that wrote and published the hypothetical article about his hypothetical ties to that hypothetical kooky religious cult. This gives him something to talk about to his hypothetical tiny audience of drooling haters, and he becomes a hero to those who listen to this failing hypothetical radio show. Hypothetical papers are served, the hypothetical owners of the site review them and decide that the hypothetical lawsuit isn't worth the hypothetical paper it's printed on.
Do they bow to the hypothetical threats and take down their web site, or do they tell the hypothetical hate jock and his hypothetical ambulance-chasing, bottom-feeding, money-grubbing trial lawyers to line up and plant a big hypothetical smooch on their hypothetical ass?
Do they fold the hypothetical tent and walk away, or do they serve notice to the hypothetical hate jock that his hypothetical snivelling, whining, self-pitying hypothetical victimhood is not only unbecoming for a hypothetical grown man, but are an embarrassment to hypothetical hate jocks and lower the hypothetical bar on their already disgustingly low hypothetical standards?
Do they point out that the hypothetical trial lawyers that the hypothetical hate jock has hired to file the flimsy, frivolous, time-wasting, petty, pathetic, self-pitying hypothetical lawsuit are the very same hypothetical trial lawyers he attacks every goddamn day on his tawdry, low-class, hateful, inane, failing hypothetical radio show?
Do they call attention to the innate hypocrisy and glaring double standard that the hypothetical hate jock employs in a cheap, half-assed, low-rent effort to impress his brain-dead, gullible, non-thinking, suckers of a tiny, marginalized, hate-consumed, fringe-dwelling hypothetical audience that is too stupid and slack-jawed to even realize they're being played?
Do they state for the record that the hypothetical hate jock is too fucking stupid to see the utter transparency of his own effort to undermine the hypothetical freedom of speech he claims to champion on his circling-the-drain, doomed-to-fail, lowest-common-denominator, pandering, self-pimping, hypothetical radio show?
These are the things I'm thinking about tonight - hypothetically, of course.
Replies: 3 people speak up
Personally, I would got for the hypothetical tire iron. Hypothetically, of course.
Posted by Brian Newhouse @ 05/22/2003 04:32 AM NY
I'm tellin' ya, man... Fred Savage needs to watch out. His ass is next!
Posted by blunted @ 05/22/2003 08:48 AM NY
THanks for giving me a laugh this morning, blunted. I needed that.
As for the topic, sickening. But of course this is par for the couse when it comes to hypothetical people like that.
Posted by Jason @ 05/22/2003 10:23 AM NY
