Go Back to the B3 Home Page
Complaints, compliments, arguments? Email me.
[<< "Herbert: 'Dying in Iraq'"] [Archive Index] [>>"Great. Just great."]
07/31/2003 Archived Entry: "A letter to the Preznit about that Air Marshall thingie..."
A letter to the Preznit about that press Air Marshall thingie...
This is from one of my favorite haunts on the web, the BartCop Forum, home of the funniest pissed-off liberals on the internet. This is a letter to Preznit Bringemon from one Rich Barber. I found it funny, and I think you will, too. And yes, he did actually send it to the white House.
Dear Mr. President:I applaud your brave decision to save a few bucks by eliminating a good number of sky marshals in the face of renewed threats of terror via airline hijackings. It was a smart move.
I do have to admit, though, that at first I was like, "What the fuck?" But then sound reasoning and common sense (as well as a nasty bump on the head) got the better of me. Only after I thought this through completely did I see the madness to your method. And I don't mind telling you it took me awhile to figure out, too! But, after several hours of brain labor, I finally gave birth to a seven pound, fifteen ounce epiphany. Have a cigar, Mr. President.
Now I see what others do not see, Mr. President. And what I see is consistency. Yes sir, by brilliantly eliminating the sky marshals we're going to draw out the terrorists, just like our troops are successfully doing in Iraq at this very moment. Stick with what works, I always say!
Yes, you're going to hear the soft, yellow-bellied, bleeding heart liberals cry about losing a few jets just like you hear them whining every time someone gets his head blowed off in Iraq, but don't you listen to a word of it, Mr. President. Stick to your guns. After all, losing a few planes and a few hundred people is a small price to pay for knowing where the terrorists are.
And Jesus Christ in a flight suit, Mr. President, think of all the money we'll save on hotel expenses! That's just that much more money that can go to the rich people who are going to give us jobs.
Please pardon my freedom, but you are one bold motherfucker.
Sincerely,
Rich Barber
P.S. Speaking of flight suits, I still can't get over those pics from your aircraft landing. You must be hung like a god damned horse! Either that or you've got missing WMD in your pants.
Replies: 2 people speak up
Hmmm, that post script reminds me of a classic May West/Cary Grant, pre-Hayes Commission raunchy comedy from the early '30's (I think it was "My Little Chickadee"). May West looks at Cary Grant and says, "Hey there, big boy, is that a banana in you pocket or are you just glad to see me?"
Now substitute "WMD" for "banana" and you'll have a modern take on a timeless classic.
Posted by Metropolitan99 @ 08/01/2003 08:05 AM NY
Rich is a great and brave American. I do hope he doesn't have any important plans involving air travel, however.
(And actually sending the letter proves his codpiece is exponentially larger than the Preznit's.)
Posted by Vicki @ 08/01/2003 09:34 AM NY
