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08/22/2003 Archived Entry: "Morford: 'Action Figures For Imbeciles'"
Morford: 'Action Figures For Imbeciles'
Morford on The Action Figure:
What can you give the one who just loves bogus wars and BushCo's lies and thinks SUVs are way bitchin' and believes every bile-filled opinion crammed down their throats via Fox News and Hannity/Coulter/Limbaugh et al., hates them damnable gays and libs and environmentalists and has one hand over his heart while the other gropes the cat? If you shouted out "a pile of Schwarzenegger DVDs!" or "Lifetime NRA/KKK membership!" or "The Complete Catholic Church Total Absolution/Multimillion Dollar Settlement/Home Enema Kit!" you're only about half right.
Because now we have a new doll, this neat little prefab landfill thing, the George W. Bush "Elite Force Aviator" action figure, to stand proudly alongside your "We Will Rock You" Animated Soldier and your civilian-maulin' "Forward Command Post" toy set from JCPenney! That's right! Collect the whole set!
It is so damn cute. It is so damn cute you almost have to shudder with nausea and ennui and soul-cringing pain and then rush right out and buy a bottle of wine and a Pyrex sex toy and a ticket to Burning Man, just to cleanse.
Morford on Ah-nuhld:
Here is Arnie. The big dumb Terminator. Kindergarten cop last action hero Conan the barbarian. A man with zero political experience and negligible actual acting experience and the intellectual and verbal acumen of something you find on the bottom of your shoe at a Shania Twain concert. And here is California (or is it just the gullible media?), suddenly all agog and atwitter over the possibility that we will beat out Minnesota on disastrous thick-necked aging quasi-celeb governors who turn their respective state into an international laughingstock, a fiscal and socioeconomic disaster, more of a joke than it already is. (P.S.: Go, Arianna.)
Replies: 2 people speak up
Should we laugh or should we cry?
Posted by Metropolitan99 @ 08/22/2003 08:15 PM NY
This doll is being made by K-B Toys. everyone here (K-B's hometown) either thinks it is an intentional satire, or just a fluffy piece of collectable cultural jetsam.
I prever the one I saw on sale at 3-Bay. it was his Texas ANG flightsuit doll. The picture was of an empty box.
Posted by mdhatter @ 08/23/2003 03:46 AM NY
