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08/27/2003 Archived Entry: "Breaking News: 10 Commandments Monument signs with William Morris Agency"
Breaking News: 10 Commandments Monument signs with William Morris Agency
In a stunning development, the William Morris Agency announced this morning that they have signed an exclusive representation contract with Montgomery, Alabama's Ten Commandments Monument. In a hastily distributed press release, William Morris Agency called the signing 'the greatest management coup since Jessica Lynch.'
A William Morris rep crowed, "'The MonumentTM' is the perfect personality for today's high-pressure, celebrity-driven entertainment industry. 'The MonumentTM' has shown that it can stand up to the scrutiny of the US news media, so we feel it's a natural to make the move into TV entertainment."
Plans are still being worked out, but among the first appearances for 'The MonumentTM' will be a makeover by the 'Queer Eye for a Straight Guy' crew. 'Queer Eye' Fashion Savant Carson said, 'Hey, if we can do a successful makeover on Jay Leno, then making ove 'The MonumentTM' will be a breeze!'
Also on 'The MonumentTM's agenda will be a series of appearances on Fox TV's 'American Idol.' A Fox spokesman pointed out that even though 'The MonumentTM' is a 2-ton hunk of granite, 'It still weighs less than last season's winner, Reuben - and it's more animated than Kelly Clarkson!'
Rumors that 'The MonumentTM' will appear in the upcoming Jessica Lynch TV movie - and that it will head to California to campaign for Republican gubernatorial candidate Arnold Schwarzenegger - were not confirmed at press time.
Replies: 8 people speak up
makeover? Does that include a rewrite?
Posted by Melic @ 08/27/2003 11:59 AM NY
they ought to sand blast the writing off the damn thing, rewrite the bill of rights onto it and put it back in the rotunda, as a reminder to all of those ignorant crackers of what country they live in. what really makes me sick is that all these ignorant christian fundamentalist cracker protesters are being given the run of the court premisis. if these people were anti war protesters, or civil rights protesters, or union protesters they would have been beaten, stomped, gassed and then arrested the first day they were out there, but because they are a bunch of right wing hilbilly nut cases, they are still allowed to use the fundamental rights they are fighting so adamantly against the rest of us having. face it, if there is a god, he probobly doesnt like ignorant rednecks any more than i do.
Posted by justin @ 08/27/2003 12:14 PM NY
Excellent post! And that reference to 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' was simply fabulous (if you catch my drift).
Posted by Metropolitan99 @ 08/27/2003 12:17 PM NY
Justin,
Those ignorant, cracker, hick, red-neck, rightwing, hillbilly, NASCAR-worshipping, semi-literate, bible-thumping yokels are the backbone of Bush supporters.
When I saw film footage of them on the news I could only think to myself, shit, the rest of the planet must think we're a pack of psychos!
You would think that The Greatest Country in the History of the Universe would carry itself with a bit more gravitas and dignitas.
Posted by Metropolitan99 @ 08/27/2003 12:25 PM NY
American Idol - fabulously refers to worshipping of false idols?!
Morons should actually read The Monument.
Posted by Vicki @ 08/27/2003 12:33 PM NY
Hey, it's time for a new game show. Name That Commandment! Winners get an all expenses paid vacation to Jerusalem. And a miniature duplicate of the monument, key chain.
Posted by Rocknroll @ 08/27/2003 01:08 PM NY
I've followed the saga of Roy's Rock and being gay I wouldn't miss Queer Eye but this article cracked me up till I nearly crapped my pants. I'm passing it along to all my gay friends.
Posted by Wally @ 08/27/2003 07:38 PM NY
thou shalt not think.
Posted by tim @ 08/29/2003 01:16 PM NY
