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09/05/2003 Archived Entry: "CNN's 'Where The Jobs Are,' Part 4"
CNN's 'Where The Jobs Are,' Part 4
I didn't even bother to post about Part 3 - about those great jobs waiting for you at Krispy Kreme Donuts. I really thought that was about as ridiculous as they could get, but once again, I've underestimated CNN.
Today, Money Mag correspondent/Jack Cafferty's bitch Andy Serwer told us all about the vast employment opportunities in the field of animal control. Yep, you wanna make dough in this broken economy? Buy you some traps and go catch you some squirrels!
So, to recap - here are the places that CNN says are the hot jobs nowadays:
1. Lobsterman in Maine: Simply pull up stakes, wherever you are, and move the family up to Maine. No doubt, the closed community of lobstermen will welcome you to their ranks, because the people in Maine are renowned for their welcoming attitude toward complete strangers.2. Mortgage Banker: Yep, just walk into your local bank and tell them you want a job re-financing homes! Not trained? No biggie? Housing market softening? Don't worry, be happy! Just go pick out a desk with a window and start re-financing! Anyone can do it!!
3. Krispy Kreme Donut Shop Employee: Hey, donuts are Big Business!! That $6.50 an hour will provide for you and your family, pay off that mortgage, and let you put a little aside for a nice little nest egg!
4. Freelance Animal Control Officer: Hey, buy a truck, get some traps and a ladder, and go knocking on doors. Everybody's got a damned squirrel in their yard - all you have to do is catch it!!
After seeing these 4 installments, all I can say is I'm glad it was a short work week.
Replies: 2 people speak up
That pounding you hear is the sound of the blood vessels throbbing in my skull.
Andy Serwer, a regular columnist for "Fortune" magazine, has apparently been groomed by the AOL TimeWarner Monolith to become yet another member in the long, undistinguished line of mediawhores. As a columnist I like him, as a talking head I despise him.
Blah3, many thanks for your excellent threads. I'm sure you've raised my triglyceride levels to well over 900.
Posted by Metropolitan99 @ 09/05/2003 10:36 PM NY
Don't forget those personal entertainment service-industry jobs. Also known as prostitution.
Oh wait, the media whores already took 'em. My bad.
Posted by Satan Loves Repugs @ 09/05/2003 10:44 PM NY
