Go Back to the B3 Home Page
Complaints, compliments, arguments? Email me.
[<< "Dionne nails it, as usual."] [Archive Index] [>>"End Times have arrived..."]
10/07/2003 Archived Entry: "'Rush on Roundball'"
'Rush on Roundball'
My friend Dennis Hans does an imaginary interview with a certain recently-resigned 'sports analyst' about the LA Lakers... here's a snip:
DH: Did the Magic Johnson "Showtime" Lakers of the Eighties thrill you as much as they thrilled me?
RL: Yes, but what you call "Showtime" I call "The Rambis Era." Kurt Rambis was the straw that stirred the Lakers' drink, my friend. He set the tone with his hustle and desire, and his nerd-style glasses were proof positive he was the smartest player on the court. Magic, when he wasn't fornicating with floosies, merely followed Kurt's lead. DH: But Kurt wasn't a one-man gang. There was Cooper, Scott, Worthy-
RL: Worthy?! The only "worthy" players, besides Rambis, were Mark Landsberger and the Carolina Cager, Mitch Kupchak. Give me twelve Mitch Kupchaks and I'll never lose a game.
DH: You'd need a point guard.
RL: Not with 12 Mitch Kupchaks.
DH: Seems to me you're forgetting arguably the greatest center of all time, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
RL: Seems to me you're forgetting he was an average player puffed up by the pro-Muslim sports media.
DH: It's no accident Kareem's a proud possesser of six championship rings.
RL: The only thing I recall him possessing was that stash of pot when he was busted at the airport.
DH: But nothing came of it because he had a medicinal-marijuana prescription for chronic migraines. Surely you don't begrudge Kareem the use of a low-risk medicine to relieve severe pain.
RL: Doing dope is ALWAYS wrong - particularly if the fiend is a sports or media celebrity. We role models have a special obligation to the young people who worship us.
Replies: somebody speaks up.
Oh, this is brilliant! You've got El Rushbo down cold. Good job!
Posted by Natalie Davis @ 10/07/2003 01:20 PM NY
