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03/06/2004 Archived Entry: "Ladies and gentlemen, Tony Hendra!"
Ladies and gentlemen, Tony Hendra!
Goddamn, this is good. This sets a new high-water mark for concentrated sarcasm.
What demon put into our so-called minds the idea that the ghastly tragedy of that bright morning in September 2001 might have been prevented because the Bush administration had received warnings for a month that some sort of attack might be coming? And that the president and his advisers had ignored that intelligence and then made use of the tragedy to seize the draconian emergency powers they craved and get the economy back onto a perpetual-war footing? How could we even entertain such thoughts? What venom flowed through our hate-infarcted hearts?We're sorry for our endless ranting about oil being the lifeblood of the Bush family circle, and The Carlyle Group existing as nothing more than a gigantic corporate kickback to its members for faithful service while in office, and the Bush team comprising the selfsame men who supported Saddam Hussein to the hilt while he was committing most of his genocidal atrocities and therefore making them his guilty accomplices. These are vicious, hateful untruths. We see that now.
The First Amendment does not give us the right to screech that young Americans are dying in Iraq so that George W. Bush can get himself legitimately elected president. It's a bald-faced lie that his bald-faced lies about weapons of mass destruction cost them their lives. Our brave men and women in uniform know when they enlist that there is always the chance they may have to pay the ultimate sacrifice. Their motives are never -- as we so squalidly claimed in the wake of the Jessica Lynch affair -- to get a higher education because the military is now the sole conduit to it for the two-thirds of Americans who can't afford it. What a despicably mercenary motive to impute to our heroes! And in any case, why isn't the re-election of an epochal president a lofty patriotic aim, worth the sacrifice -- as our great defense secretary has implied -- of a few lives? Why would this aim fill us with rage and hate, instead of quiet pride?
We were wrong to call George W. Bush's huge tax cuts legalized looting, wrong about the replacement of a $5 trillion surplus with a $3 trillion deficit. No, that is not $8 trillion down the drain in three short years. We arrived at that ridiculous conclusion by juggling the figures. If you're as egregiously partisan as we, you can make figures prove anything. We see that now.
Replies: 3 people speak up
One of National Lampoon's founding fathers! Tony and Nic's "Chicken Song"! (And I don't mean the crappy one they play at hockey games.) HENDRA!
Yeah, heard of 'im. And this piece will be carved in a monument somehwere someday.
Posted by Hoffmania! @ 03/06/2004 06:17 PM NY
Thanks for showing me this article! It has inspired this haiku:
faith-based mania
is the tip of the iceberg
for these hypocrites
Posted by (: Tom :) @ 03/07/2004 07:30 AM NY
Ah yes. When setting up a web log I discovered the necessity of setting up a category called Rants to file all those questions about the administration.
Scorpio
http://scorpio.typepad.com/
Posted by Scorpio @ 03/10/2004 04:36 PM NY
