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04/16/2004 Archived Entry: "It had to happen sooner or later."
It had to happen sooner or later.
You can't make this tuff up, folks. Oh, wait - yes, you can.
Vatican City - Heaven announced that effective immediately Jesus has stepped down from his position on the Holy Trinity.Citing poor performance and recent scandals within the church, it was decided that rightsizing in management was in order. "It is with some sadness, but with great hope for the future that we make this move," said Heaven spokesperson Archangel Gabriel.
While a surprise to many, some analysts expected such a move. "Given the poor profits, and benefits of outsourcing, it was only a matter of time before Heaven responded to market conditions," explained Tim Williamson with First Boston.
With no replacement named, speculation is that Jesus' departure is the first step in a greater plan of outsourcing work to India. As with many organizations, Heaven could reap large savings leveraging the benefits of a globalized world. Buddhaco Ltd. has been named as one possible offshore partner.
Replies: somebody speaks up.
That's okay, they weren't bothering with his teachings anymore, anyway. We're back to the Old Testement God, now.
Posted by Avedon @ 04/18/2004 08:36 AM NY
