The "Palin Drops Out" Theory, and its implicit dopeyness.
As I cruise around the internets, I'm seeing more and more people speculating over what I'll call the 'Palin Drops Out' theory. It goes something like this:
McCain's pick of Palin as VP is so transparently stupid, so cynical on its face, that there simply must be another level of logic working here. What will happen is Palin will campaign throughout the general election season with McCain, be the good little soldier, help McCain win the White House - and then bow out for 'family reasons' so that McCain can appoint a replacement VP like Joe Lieberman, who was the guy he wanted as VP all along.
As best I can suss it, that's how it's supposed to go. The Palin pick is nothing more than Double Secret Rovian Genius Electoral Jiu-Jitsu, with the Governor of Alaska as the Ultimate Campaign Prop who will be used until McCain wins the White House, at which point she'll be tossed aside like a used Kleenex in order for McCain to put in the running mate he really wanted all along. I guess it's a nice theory, simultaneously re-generating the Mythical Rove Power Over All Elections Everywhere and the meme that McCain Will Do Anything To Get Elected.
But as with every theory, there is a potentially intrusive variable to fuck with this one - which is basic, standard-issue Grubby Republican Greed And Ambition.
Look at Sarah Palin's (and her husband's) public track record since she became Governor. She fired an official who wouldn't fire her ex-brother in law. not to be outdone, the old man pushed one of Palin's top aides out of his job for dating his best friend's ex. Then she upped the ante again by hiring a known sexual harrasser to replace the aide - and paid the guy 10 Large in severance pay for the couple of weeks he spent in the job.
Todd Palin horned his ass into the Governor's Mansion, sitting in on supposedly-private meetings, being cc'd on confidential emails, and apparently pressuring his wife to fire people he didn't like. These two treated the Governorship as a license to fuck with peopole, all the while presenting themselves to Alaska (and now the country) as a Simple Hockey Mom and her Big Lug Of A Field Worker Hubby.
Hockey Mom?? Hardly. Look at the track record - these two are Tonya Harding and Jeff Gilooly minus the ice skates. To think that these two people, who moved into the Governor's Mansion and immediately started fucking with people, would let this theory play out - that they'd spend two months of their valuable, self-centered lives campaigning for a guy who could conceivably drop dead during his first term and land Sarah Palin's Hockey Mom Ass in the Big Chair, the Most Powerful Office In The Fucking World, the Closest Thing To God On The Fucking Planet, and then step aside and hand the keys off to Joementum - are really underestimating the inherent Republican Scumminess of Mrs. and Mr. Palin.
If they got within rock-throwing distance of the Oval Office and were asked to give it up, it would be a safer bet to expect them to bribe John McCain with dirt they'll no doubt be privy to during the campaign than to just turn around and head back to Anchorage with The Rubes and The Cold and the oh, so small-time Governor's Mansion.
Bank it. These two are so consumed with ambition and lust for power and the ability to fuck with people that they'd probably sooner bring down the entire GOP than give up their seats at the table. If they couldn't move into the Naval Observatory, past performance suggests they'd just sooner burn it the fuck down
That's why I think the 'Palin Drops Out' theory is bullshit. They aren't going anywhere any time soon. What I will bet on is that there will be some big-league creepy shit - like world-class, extinction-level event creepy shit - coming out about these two, and that could send tham back to Rube-ville.
Call it a hunch. These two - the Tonya and Gilooly of Alaskan Politics - have fucked with somebody along the way who's been waiting for years to get revenge, and won't hesitate to take it. Pass the popcorn.