I no longer stay awake late enough to hear late night jokes about current events such as Tiger Woods' shortest drive, so I've had to write a couple

You might have heard that Limbaugh has put in a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams. Well, there seem to be a few players that might have a problem playing for a radio racist.

Mathias Kiwanuka loves his former defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo, but the Giants' defensive end says he will never play for Spagnuolo's Rams if Rush Limbaugh purchases the team.

Kiwanuka and the Jets' Bart Scott made it clear Thursday that they would never play for the Rams or any team owned by the controversial conservative radio host.

"All I know is from the last comment I heard, he said in (President) Obama's America, white kids are getting beat up on the bus while black kids are chanting 'right on,'" Kiwanuka told The Daily News. "I mean, I don't want anything to do with a team that he has any part of. He can do whatever he wants, it is a free country. But if it goes through, I can tell you where I am not going to play."

"I am not going to draw a conclusion from a person off of one comment, but when it is time after time after time and there's a consistent pattern of disrespect and just a complete misunderstanding of an entire culture that I am a part of, I can't respect him as a man."

[...]

Limbaugh's controversial comments are well-known. He resigned from ESPN in 2003 after he said the media were "very desirous that a black quarterback do well" in reference to Philadelphia's Donovan McNabb being overrated. "If he's rewarded to buy them, congratulations to him," McNabb said during his weekly press conference. "But I won't be in St. Louis anytime soon."

Scott says players remember what Limbaugh said, and adds that the NFL would be wise not to allow the nationally syndicated host into the league. "It's an oxymoron that he criticized Donovan McNabb," Scott said. "A lot of us took it as more of a racial-type thing. I can only imagine how his players would feel. I know I wouldn't want to play for him. He's a jerk. He's an ---. What he said (about McNabb) was inappropriate and insensitive, totally off-base. He could offer me whatever he wanted, I wouldn't play for him. ... I wouldn't play for Rush Limbaugh. My principles are greater and I can't be bought."

Limbaugh, who grew up in Missouri about 100 miles south of St. Louis, is an avid sports fan who once said that "the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons."

Kiwanuka cringes at the idea of Limbaugh becoming an NFL owner. "They are flat-out racist," Kiwanuka said of many of Limbaugh's statements. "He jumps on Obama and he jumps on other people for being racist. But a lot of the comments that he said, I feel like they have no place in journalism. It is just an opinion show that should be only be taken for shock value. I liken it to 'South Park' when I am listening to him."

"I love Spags and would play for him in a heartbeat, but under that situation ... obviously trades you have no control over, but if it was a free-agent thing, I wouldn't care if I only had one offer on the table, I would rather stay a free agent."

I think the chances of Limbaugh getting anywhere near ownership of an NFL franchise just went way down. And knowing Pigboy, he won't be able to leave this one alone and will make even more incendiary statements.

Update: The Player's Union weighs in...

NFL Players executive director DeMaurice Smith on Saturday made a move to solidify the union against a bid by conservative talk show radio host Rush Limbaugh as part of a group that aims to purchase the St. Louis Rams.

In an e-mail to the union’s executive committee on Saturday specifically addressing Limbaugh’s bid, Smith said, “I’ve spoken to the Commissioner [Roger Goodell] and I understand that this ownership consideration is in the early stages. But sport in America is at its best when it unifies, gives all of us reason to cheer, and when it transcends. Our sport does exactly that when it overcomes division and rejects discrimination and hatred.”

How much you want to bet that Pigboy screams that he's a victim of discrimination?

I'm following the dealings going on in the NBA at RealGM Knicks forum and wondering what new way the Knicks will come up with to disappoint me this year.

There seems to be a lot of trading and buying of draft picks going on (NYK bought the Laker's #29 first round pick, and there are rumors that they're trying to buy the T-Wolves' pick at #28 as well) - probably because this is a thin draft and draft picks are as good as money to teams who don't see anything they like. I watch with interest.

Oh - and in case you missed it, Shaquille O'Neal is now a teammate of Lebron James.

Some guys just don't know when to quit.

Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress and quarterback Brett Favre plan to meet at an undisclosed location later this week to discuss the possibility of the former Packers and Jets quarterback renouncing his retirement from the NFL to play the 2009 season with the Vikings, according to a source with direct knowledge of discussions between the two parties.

It's clear to anyone who watched a single Jets game last year (Stranger sheepishly raises hand) that while Favre showed brief - very brief - flashes of the QB he used to be, there is just not enough left in the tank for him to be effective for a full season.

But, hell, if the Vikes are dumb enough to throw money at the guy in the hopes of getting a couple of good games out of him (which is really all he's gonna be good for, truth be told), then go and do. I say he'll retire again about halfway through the season.

What's the NFL record for retirements by one player, anyway? Favre may have that one locked down.

Sometimes, winning isn't everything.

Something else was on Dave Rohlman's mind when he asked for a volunteer to shoot two free throws awarded his team on a technical foul in the second quarter. His senior captain raised his hand, ready to go to the line as he had many times before.

Only this time it was different.

"You realize you're going to miss them, don't you?" Rohlman said.

Darius McNeal nodded his head. He understood what had to be done.

It was a Saturday night in February, and the Barbs were playing a non-conference game on the road against Milwaukee Madison. It was the third meeting between the two schools, who were developing a friendly rivalry that spanned two states.

The teams planned to get together after the game and share some pizzas and soda. But the game itself almost never took place.

Go read the whole thing. It's a pretty amazing story.

Arizona Cardinals fans in Tucson must've been getting quite excited and aroused as their team took the lead near the end of the fourth quarter last night. But as they waited for the climax, they got something else quite different:

Instead, viewers in the Tucson area were astonished to see a woman unzipping a man's trousers to reveal "full male nudity" followed by what was described as "a graphic act" between the couple. Somehow, the feed from Super Bowl XLIII had been mixed up with a 30-second excerpt from Club Jenna, an adult cable TV channel featuring Jenna Jameson, one of America's most famous porn actresses.

"I just figured it was another commercial until I looked up," Cora King, of Marana, told the Arizona Daily Star newspaper. "Then he did his little dance with everything hanging out."

Hmm, are they sure it wasn't just another one of those annoying Geico commercials? In any case, at least they can be glad that it happened then and not during something important, like Springsteen's halftime show.

Hatch is delivering an impassioned plea on C-SPAN now about the unfairness, nay, the very un-American nature, of the BCS system that jobbed his beloved team from Utah. It's time to subject the NCAA to the Sherman anti-trust act, he says. I didn't catch why he's only bringing this up now. Perhaps because he was waiting for an ally in his proposal for a playoff system in the form of President Obama.

Now that's bipartisanship we can believe in. And of course I'm sure he'll join the Dems in voting for the stimulus bill next week in that same spirit of outreach and cooperation.

I've gone back and forth in my feelings about Alonzo Mourning over the span of his career. During the divisional battles that went on between Jeff Van Gundy's Knicks and Pat Riley's Miami Heat, I saw Zo as the villain for the longest time, but eventually developed a grudging respect for his ability and tenacity. When he became sick with kidney disease in 2000, my respect grew even more when I watched him fight back and resume playing on a level that just shouldn't have been humanly possible.

My respect dimmed somewhat when he signed with the Nets (reportedly at the urging of point guard Jason Kidd), then decided he didn't want to play for them, then was traded to the Toronto Raptors and refused to play. The Raps bought him out of his contract, at which point he re-signed with the Heat. Mourning began to look like a very selfish player to me, willing to collect money from the Nets and Raptors but unwilling to play for them because they weren't winning teams. Nonetheless, he will be remembered for being a fierce competitor and a champion among NBA centers.

Today, after proving unable to come back from a 2007 leg injury, Alonzo Mourning announced his retirement.

Alonzo Mourning has decided to retire rather than mount another NBA comeback at age 38.

The seven-time All-Star center said Thursday he won't return from a devastating leg injury in 2007. He's not under contract but had been working out at the Miami Heat's complex and still had a spot in the team's locker room.

Mourning hasn't played since tearing the patella tendon and quadriceps muscle in his right leg on Dec. 19, 2007, the fourth anniversary of his lifesaving kidney transplant. He said he feared another return would put his health in jeopardy.

"I truly feel it's best that I retire," Mourning said at a news conference. "When you've got something you love and you're passionate about, it's hard to let that go. But at 38 I feel I've physically done all I can for this game. It has been an amazing ride."

Mourning, who turns 39 next month, played at Georgetown and was the second overall pick in the 1992 draft by the Charlotte Hornets. He also played for New Jersey but spent the majority of his career with the Heat, helping them reach the playoffs six consecutive years. He was the backup center to Shaquille O'Neal when Miami won the NBA title in 2006.

Our friend and Lakers USENET group denizen Larry Coon gets mad props in the NY Times for his definitive NBA CBA FAQ.

Maybe college football teams should have a rule against team members using the internet or something...

I'm not all that old. But I'm about 3 or 4 years removed from the generation that will quite literally put anything up on Facebook or MySpace. Seemingly every week, some idiot gets nailed for leaving either some dumb message up or some incredibly bad photo, and yet no one learns. It just keeps happening...

[...]

Well, as I said, no one learns, because Buck Burnette, back up center for the University of Texas Longhorns, put this lovely message up as his Facebook profile message shortly after the election.

"all the hunters gather up, we have a #$%&er in the whitehouse"

Now, that gibberish there could stand for butler, or player, or something else that ends in "er." But, I think we all know what he meant. As you can guess, Mack Brown kicked this &$%*#@)! dumbass off the team instantly. Maybe you can take a guess as to what my gibberish means.

And true to form for all these little racist scumbags who get caught flaunting their own racism, he 'apologized' (emphasis mine):

Clearly I have made a mistake and apologized for it and will pay for it. I received it as a text message from an acquaintance and immaturely put it up on facebook in the light of the election. Im not racist and apologize for offending you. I grew up on a ranch in a small town where that was a real thing and I need to grow up. I sincerely am sorry for being ignorant in thinking that it would be ok to write that publicly and apologize to you in particular. I have to be more mature than to put the reputation of my team at stake and to spread that kind of hate which I dont even believe in. Once again, I sincerely apologize.

Sure thing, there, asshole. 'Writing it publicly' is wrong - with the implication being that spewing this type of racist bullshit is okay in private. Moron.

Word has it that when the guy's black teammates saw what he posted, they were looking for him to beat his ass down. While we (most of the time) don't advocate violence, maybe Buck could stand a lesson in words having consequences.

Starting immediately, football announcers must stop using the term "hat" for "helmet." It was mildly amusing the first time I heard it, but now it's just tired. And even more annoying is the more recent practice of using "hat" instead of "man" when doing things like describing blocking schemes: "You need to put 3 hats on these defenders to open up a lane for the running back." If such gratuitous synecdoche is to be allowed, then announcers must begin rotating which piece of equipment is used: "You need a pair of shoes to pick up the blitzing linebacker, Dave," or "Get a jock strap over here to seal off the defensive end." Thanks for your attention.

Welcome, Big Fella Junior!

The New York Knicks have acquired Patrick Ewing, Jr. in a trade with Houston in exchange for the draft rights to center Frederic Weis.

"Patrick Ewing will have an opportunity here to compete for a spot on our roster," said Donnie Walsh. "He is a solid defensive player and a very good athlete."

Ewing, Jr. was originally drafted by Sacramento in the 2008 NBA Draft as the 43rd overall selection. He was traded to the Rockets on Aug. 14 as part of a multi-player deal that included Ron Artest.

"Coming to the Knicks, and hopefully being able to contribute, means a lot to me. It has always been my dream to play for this team," Ewing, Jr. said. "My goal is to show the coaches that I can play and do all that I can to help the team win some games."

I'm amazed that Frederic Weis finally did something to help the Knicks. He's been infamous for taking Ron Artest's spot in the draft and getting crotch-faced by Vince Carter in the Olympics. Here's the video:



Let me go on the record as applauding the end of the Frederic Weis Era in New York.

The Men's 4x100 Freestyle is up there among the greatest moments in sports history. Just amazing. Tremendous victory for the U.S. team.

Garrett Weber-Gale, left, and Michael Phelps screamed for joy after Lezak, their teammate, out-touched Bernard. Photo: Doug Mills/The New York Times

Buh-bye, Chad.

The Jets have pulled off one of the most stunning trades in their history, acquiring Brett Favre from the Packers late Wednesday night. The Jets outbid the Bucs for the 38-year-old Favre, whose arrival means the departure of 32-year-old Chad Pennington.

The story was first reported by FoxSports.com and confirmed by the Jets shortly after midnight.

The Jets were said to have made a better offer than the Bucs earlier in the day. It is believed the Jets traded a fourth-round pick in 2009, although the pick could go as high as second-rounder based on the team's performance.

Did the Knicks' management team (the one that screwed up the NYK franchise by getting big-name, past-their prime players) take over the Jets when I wasn't looking or something?

As we find ourselves on the eve of the Olympics Opening Ceremonies, I hope you'll indulge me in venting on a pet peeve of mine. The soccer competition has gotten underway already, and I just finished watching a very entertaining Argentina-Ivory Coast match. Unfortunately, JP Dellacamera was calling the play by play, and as usual, he drove me nuts, just as he did yesterday in the US Women's opening match. Now JP is very competent in calling out the action and the names of the players involved, which seems no small feat when he's watching on a monitor in NYC rather than at the venue. But the man is utterly obsessed with the clock in the game. He always is, in every damn game he calls. And since I've got nothing better to do this morning, I recorded exactly the depth of his mania this morning:

"We're in the 7th minute...the 17th minute...the 20th minute...the 22nd minute...the 24th minute...the 29th minute...the 35th minute...the 36th minute...the 38th minute [this was the very first thing he said after a goal had been waved off--no explanation, just the time]...the 39th minute...the 40th minute...the 49th minute...the 53rd minute...the 56th minute...the 56th minute [yes! he actually announced the same minute twice within 60 seconds]...the 62nd minute...the 67th minute...the 70th minute...the 73rd minute...the 75th minute...the 76th minute...the 80th minute...the 84th minute...the 2nd minute of stoppage time...the third minute of stoppage time...game over!"

Lordy Lordy, are his producers afraid to tell him about this ridiculous tic? Won't his friends tell him? Hey JP, we've got a clock running at the top of our screens too, since we're watching the exact same feed as you are! How can JP stand to watch someone else call a game, like the Italy-Honduras one that's on now--it's more than halfway through the first half, and no one has mentioned the damn time yet!

So there you have it, friends, the sort of trenchant sports-analysis you've come to expect from B3...